Our 5 Rules for a Successful Date Night
The number one piece of advice we tell all our friends to implement when they have their first child is to make it a point to carve out time for date nights. When Joe and I are consistently getting uninterrupted time together the whole house runs more smoothly. Often the hesitation I get from friends who think they can’t do weekly date nights is that they think they have to get a babysitter and leave the house to make it count. I’m here to tell you that’s not true. While we of course prefer to exit the house to make it feel more special, it’s not always realistic. So today we thought we’d share our 5 rules that make it count as a date.
Don’t Talk Shop
Date night is not the night to make your plans for the week or talk about the kids. Obviously sometimes these topics will come up, but try to talk like you used to when you were dating.
By take turns I mean alternate the person who is in charge of the plan for the night. It is way more exciting to feel like you are being taken out than to be the one that always has to be in charge. Even if you’re staying in, one person picks the food, drinks, activity, etc.
This rule may not work for everyone but if we are going to pay a babysitter to take care of our kids I want to get my money’s worth. And in all honesty, I’m way more fun before 9 pm. We try to have our babysitter come by 5 or 6 at the latest so we both have energy and make it to bed at a decent hour. Sometimes we even do a babysitter Saturday afternoons. We highly recommend the day date!
Playing off of the start early rule; start your foreplay early too. By this I mean act like you did when you were dating. Message your spouse how excited you are to see them later. Tell them the next day how much fun you had the night before. This flirtation will become a habit and hopefully you will start messaging each other things other than ‘can you pick up more diapers on your way home?’.
It Should End With Sex….Or At Least A Little Make Out
Need I say more. Date night is about reconnecting as a couple and what better way to do that than with a little intimacy. When kids are waiting for you at home it’s not realistic to think sex will happen every time, but try to steal some kisses on the date at least. Like little crumbs on the trail, that should eventually lead to the sex cookie :)
Hopefully this list shows you that date night doesn’t have to be elaborate but simply about reconnecting with intention. Next week we will share with you some of our favorite summer date ideas. In the meantime try this list out and see if it makes you feel more connected.